Advance praise for Not Exactly Love: A Memoir:

"Breaking the silence about the complex dynamics of abusive relationships is the most powerful act anyone--victim, bystander, or perpetrator--can take. Bravo to Betty Hafner!"

Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of the New York Times best seller, Crazy Love


“Betty Hafner eloquently writes about being in an abusive relationship . . . A powerful example of how people can gather the courage and insight to create a better life."

Rosalind Wiseman, Creating Cultures of Dignity, author of the New York Times best seller, Queen Bees and Wannabes


Why do women stay--and how do they gain the courage to leave? Betty Hafner's memoir is both a courageous portrait of a woman and her will, and a moving guide for women who are also dealing with the horrors of domestic violence. Her story will resonate with some and give spirit to others, and is an indelible document for readers and feminists everywhere.

Lizzie Skurnick, author of Shelf Discovery


"Hafner's deft prose puts the reader inside the story, revealing in intimate detail the anguish of ongoing physical abuse, the slow building of a victim's agency, and finally, the redemptive power of boldly taking back one's freedom."

Robin Rinaldi, author of The Wild Oats Project


“Betty Hafner’s intelligence is on display throughout. She shares such piercing insights that burst the bubble of attraction, enabling, love and marriage, family repression, and the complexity of domestic entanglements—and her atmospheric elements do a wonderful job of giving fullness to the scenes.”

Matthew Klam, author of Sam the Cat and Other Stories


“For the literally millions of women who are physically abused and emotionally terrorized Not Exactly Love clearly explains the attachments, fears, and rationalizations that keep a woman trapped in a toxic relationship. Better yet, Hafner writes beautifully about how she took charge of her life and grew strong enough to break free. Both a gripping story and a manual for survivors.”

Barbara Esstman, author of The Other Anna, Night Ride Home, and Sure Thing


"Not Exactly Love is a brave and honest account of a domestic violence victim's tense, unpredictable world. Illustrating many of the early warning signs that batterers typically display, it accurately describes the complex dynamics of an abusive relationship. Betty's story offers a raw, unflinching description of the tough choices and sacrifices survivors are often forced to make, but ends with an inspiring lesson on the cathartic power of letting go."

Lynn Fairweather, MSW, author of Stop Signs: Recognizing, Avoiding, and Escaping Abusive Relationships